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Should I talk to my son about his collecting of spanking equipment ?
My son is seventeen years old and has recently started collecting spanking implements like wooden paddles and leather straps. He buys the materials and makes them at home. He even has some paddles made out of Exotic Wood such as cocobolo and olivewood. We have not said anything to him about it yet, but am wondering if we should. I don't know if this would shed light on it, but my husband and I did use spanking when he was young. We used a small thin paddle.
Yes, you most definitely need to bring the subject up. Apparently he is not attempting to hide it since you are aware of his making them. I would say it has nothing to do with your spanking him as a child. It probably has more to do with submissive/passive behavior in intimate role playing, or dominance. He is a little young to already be exploring such avenues. He has been introduced to it someway. He may know someone into it or he could have seen it in magazines or videos. It's a whole industry. There is a lot of money to be made on apparel and objects used for this. He may be making some of these things you mentioned to sell or he may be using them himself.
Just ask him about it. Ask what he does or is going to do with the things he makes. Tell him to be honest and frank with you about it. That is one of the problems with parent and child relationships - not enough communication. It can be harmless if not taken too seriously; just a little role playing. However, there is a whole underground society that really gets involved in this. You need to ask some questions and get some real answers. I don't mean to scare you, but this type of role playing can be dangerous, even fatal if ground rules are not specifically set beforehand. This must be done in a trusting atmosphere, or else it can get out of control. You need to make sure that he isn't involved in making videos, for instance, which could come back to haunt him someday. Him being so young and not even ventured out into the world career wise, this could be very negative. Although it is more common than most people think, it is still mostly done in privacy , as most intimate acts should between two consenting adults.
Don't wait any longer. Find out to what extent he is involved. You are his parents and he is just 17 years old. He still needs your guidance as to what is best for him. You may want to get more informed on the subject. That way you know what you're dealing with. He may even be wondering why you haven't said anything yet.